Flashback: It's a boy...

February 10th 2009

I wish I could honestly say that I spent this day dancing on rainbows and smelling roses.
A boy? Really? Hm.
I've never been a little boy before, will I know how to raise one?
I'm growing a penis inside of me.
I've always imagined myself with a little girl.
No little dresses?

I didn't answer the phone for two days. I felt like a horrible person and parent for feeling slightly dissapointed. The screen showed our little man with his hands up by his face and was chomping his mouth up and down looking perfectly healthy, and my heart was hurting a little. "What the #$@ is wrong with me?! I'll make a horrible parent!" Slowly but surely, I fell in love with the boy inside of me who kicked my ribs, pushed my bladder and made it difficult for me to breathe. We chose a name on Mother's Day and bought little boy overalls at yard sales.

Luckily, our Good Lord Up Above knew exactly who to bring into my life. Couldn't imagine life without our little guy Henry Roscoe. I am so looking forward to romping around with him on adventures.

I.M.

First Shots

The nurse held his little legs down to the side of the table with her hips, I held his little arms up with my hands and tried to look at his eyes until he closed them and screamed. Brian held my arm to comfort me. I kissed his little cheeks, he held his breath and then it was over. I picked him up off the table and hugged him while he cried. The nurse left and I breastfed him until he looked up at me and the redness left his face. I expected a very grumpy little man for the remainder of the day. We went home and we snuggled, ate, slept, and smiled. Lots of smiles from him. Maybe the tough times are already bringing the three of us closer.

I.M.

Zuzsi

+

Can't wait to cash in some birthday checks and splurge on these sandals from Zuzsi. Too bad summer is almost over but I'm sure these will last me a lifetime. Reviews make it seem better than walking barefoot and they come with three interchangeable leather laces.

Twenty Six

11:30pm urgh. The poison ivy irritation I discovered yesterday is spreading. Great.

12:00am Doing some late-night day-dreaming on my laptop sitting next to Tina who is doing the same on hers. Sleeping 9 week old in between us on the couch.

4:00am Back up for said 9 week old's 4 am feeding and waste management. I have a very gassy baby this morning with very adult sounding 'toots'. I give a half grin while listening to them in the glow of my laptop while I look in vain for Happy Birthday greetings on Facebook. Hm. Two. In need of some encouragement at this hour. I lay Henry down on our makeshift changing table that we've turned the chaise into, take off his diaper and say quietly, "where is your sock?" Which seems to be a really funny question because he looks up at me with a huge toothless grin. Wow. I'm a mom, this is awesome. There's my encouragement.

6:15am Henry is fussing and a pacifier just won't do. I pull him into bed with me, open up the buffet and we snuggle until we both get up at 8:30.

10:00am Tina is up and she makes some steel cut oatmeal for us. Yum. She has bought some honey flavored Greek Yogurt that we mix into it. Even better.

12:00pm We are at Eli's to get Tina a much needed Americano. On to Kaiserhof a new German restaurant. Egg salad and for me and a Reuben with a German beer for her. We sit next to a rude and crude table with two loud mouths talking about their guns and ex-wives while one very tolerant woman threw in a laugh every once in a while. Bill comes, Tina's beer was much more expensive than they told us...so a free beer! On to some window shopping and back home.

6:00pm Old Chicago's patio on the waterfront with the Cody fam. Pizza and more beers for others and on non-alcoholic Pink Hawaiian for one breastfeeding mother. Then an offer of free shots for two birthday girls. First one tasted like Arbor Mist with Benadryl and the second like black licorice. Two did my tummy in and I was done. Waiter seemed to be having a good time giving away stuff so out came the cookies, ice cream and whipped topping.

9:45 Sitting here, blogging, thinking about having to take my sis back to the airport tomorrow. Sad. But good times...good times.

I.M.

**Thought I should make a statement about the alcohol. Yup we're Christians. And yep we drink, not a lot, but we do. That's all I have to say about that.**

Henry's Dedication

Henry was dedicated at our church this Sunday amongst our church family.

We vow to show the love of Jesus to you Henry,

and we pray that you will love Him because He first loved you.

Daddy's Boy

Family is in town this week.
Late nights, laughter, tears, games...coffee.

Going Green

Swoon: Nau's Fall Sneak Peek

Back in the day when I got to snowboard every week, I was mistaken for a guy a couple of times. I wasn't insulted, on a cold day you are covered from head to toe...beanie, goggles, coat zipped up over my chin, pants and so on. I never bought equipment that was geared towards women because I was often frustrated with the color options. Pink, powder blue, lime green and pale yellow.

Not only do I love the cut and color of Nau's selection, but I love that their product line is eco-friendly. They give regularly to causes they believe in and they are transparent with their business practices. I love it when companies have a blog and/or flickr account. It makes me see the people behind the product. And these people seem to love what they do and are doing what they love.

I.M.

"People have more than one of these?"

Week One: Loved hanging out in the hospital with Henry and Brian. Nurses brought us food, they filled my water bottle all the time, I had a bed that I could press a button to sit up in. I got to spend the day looking at Henry in amazement. Then they discharged us and kicked us out of our room and kept Henry under the billi-lights for Jaundice...we slept in the hallway.

Week Two: Still navigating parenthood with no recollection of what day or night means. But I am determined to have a flexible baby, I take him everywhere I go and try to get out often.

Week Three: The reinforcements arrive! My mom is here for two weeks. She takes the 6-8am shift and I either sleep or shower. Someone is always here to hold him and watch him if I feel the need for some Tammy-time.

Week Four: Mother still here. Still good, but reality is going to set in quickly. Is the baby honeymoon ending?

Week Five: With my mother gone I still call my mother-in-law to come over so that I can take a shower, or wait for Brian to come home. Somewhere in the middle of this week I realize, 'oh wait..I don't have to hold him while he naps. I can put him down and do stuff!' - Dur.

Week Six: We are well on our way and have a night time schedule. It just clicked last week and now we are doing well! Henry has stopped fussing so much, nursing is getting easier and we are starting to see some smiles!

On to Week Seven: I can do this! And I think I might actually be good at it! Wow, I can see why people have more of these.

I.M.

A ModCloth Autumn

Even though I'm looking forward to another Illinois winter as much as I look forward to stepping on glass, I love the fall here. We get much more color in the trees than I did in California, we start burning fires in our fireplace and I'm muh more of a sweater and jeans person than a shorts and tank top person.

Loving the sweaters and tops at ModCloth.

I.M.

Etsy Swoon: Clementiny Clothing

Clementinyclothing.etsy.com

Not only do I love that Clementiny Clothing uses nothing but recycled vintage fabrics for her beautiful handmade clothing, but she also really makes me want to try to pull off a full sleeve tattoo.

Too bad I'm not brave enough...

I.M